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‘He did rape me very early on in our relationship’: Woman reveals domestic violence abuse as campaign continues

PUBLISHED: 17:14 10 December 2018

(2of2) Pic of domestic violence victim, Jenny. (Not real name). Lady does not wish to be identified.
Copy Orla Moore.  edp 12/4/00

(2of2) Pic of domestic violence victim, Jenny. (Not real name). Lady does not wish to be identified. Copy Orla Moore. edp 12/4/00

A woman who was tormented by an abusive former partner has revealed how she was raped by her former husband, as a domestic violence campaign continues.

Two women a week are killed by a current or former partner and six out of seven of domestic violence victims are women, and nine out of ten of the defendants are men, according to campaign, White Ribbon.

Since 2005, the campaign has urged men wear white ribbons and pledge to never commit, excuse or remain silent about violence against women.

Last week, one Suffolk woman revealed her abuse by a partner of more than a decade.

Now another victim has come forward to relive her experience in a domestically violent relationship.

The Lowestoft woman, whose identity we have concealed at their request, spent 15 years with her former partner.

She said: “He did rape me very early on in our relationship, but I thought it was because I had given him the wrong signals.

“He had known that I had been raped when I was 16, and the more he found out about me, the more control he had.”

At the time, she already had a child from a previous relationship and, while she didn’t intend on having anymore, she claims he insisted they would have one.

She said: “I thought after we would have a baby, things would get better because he wanted one, but things got worse.

“He would call me names. I was a cow, he would call my daughter a mini cow and my youngest daughter a mini, mini cow.”

“He would call me ugly, he would call me fat, He didn’t like it when I spoke to men.”

During this time, she was receiving benefits but said she would never see how much money was going in or out because her husband wouldn’t allow her to access the bank account.

She said: “The relationship ended when he attacked me, he attacked my dog, he killed me cat, they all suffered too.”

After 15 years of marriage, with five children and isolated from her family and friends, she left the family home, but continued to face difficulties.

She said: “He tried to cause problems, I’ve had my bank details stolen, attempted break-ins, I have had people come to the house and threaten me, I had to put in security. I’ve been told I am constantly being watched, I think I will be until he gets bored.”

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